Slice into the final season with these Dexter-themed cocktails

Showtime's Dexter is revving up for its final season of dismemberment, weird brother/sister sexual tension, deep V shirts, and dark passengers... and with the body count poised to skyrocket as high as your hopes for Batista to take off that stupid hat already, you're gonna need a drink. Lucky for you, we've enlisted our favorite Ice Truck Killer -- Patrick Soto of Portland's So Cold mobile shaved ice and cocktails truck -- to whip up a trinity of cocktails inspired by Miami's favorite serial killer.

The Dark Passenger

While Dexter's narration goes on and on about controlling his "dark passenger", this recipe will have you going on and on about drinking a squid's ejaculatory defense liquid. Dump the vodka, triple sec, lemon juice, and a squirt of ink in a shaker of ice. Pour that black deliciousness in a champagne flute and top with Prosecco. Put in a dash of burnt orange bitters and huzzah! The fishy aromatics are as absent as Dex is to his kid.

Blood Slide Jello Shots

Inspired by the blood samples Dex takes from each victim, making these jello shots is easier than Deb after a few Coronas. Just boil the simple syrup & coconut water, then mix the agar-agar (which'll Jell-O-ize it) in until it's dissolved. Let the water cool, then dump in the vodka. Pour it into molds, and refrigerate 'em until solid. Finally, take a syringe (preferably not the one you found in the alley, even though it does look totally brand-new) and inject your favorite blood-colored syrup like strawberry or cherry. Or blood.

Dexter's Breakfast

Dex begins every day (well, every episode) with the same meticulously prepared breakfast, and just look how well that stabilizes him! Since he's a great role model, here's the liquid version: shake the booze, juice, and egg white over ice, then dump them into a martini glass. Throw in a couple dashes of Tapatio -- which actually retains a blood drop-like orb shape in liquid. Garnish it, as all things should be garnished, with a thick cut of candied bacon, and get ready for a great day of upstanding citizenry.