Slice into the final season with these Dexter-themed cocktails

Showtime's Dexter is revving up for its final season of dismemberment, weird brother/sister sexual tension, deep V shirts, and dark passengers... and with the body count poised to skyrocket as high as your hopes for Batista to take off that stupid hat already, you're gonna need a drink. Lucky for you, we've enlisted our favorite Ice Truck Killer -- Patrick Soto of Portland's So Cold mobile shaved ice and cocktails truck -- to whip up a trinity of cocktails inspired by Miami's favorite serial killer.

The Dark Passenger
- 1.5oz vodka
- 1oz triple sec
- .5oz lemon juice
- Prosecco
- 1 dash burnt orange bitters
- Squid ink to color
While Dexter's narration goes on and on about controlling his "dark passenger", this recipe will have you going on and on about drinking a squid's ejaculatory defense liquid. Dump the vodka, triple sec, lemon juice, and a squirt of ink in a shaker of ice. Pour that black deliciousness in a champagne flute and top with Prosecco. Put in a dash of burnt orange bitters and huzzah! The fishy aromatics are as absent as Dex is to his kid.

Blood Slide Jello Shots
- 1 cup coconut water
- 6oz vodka
- 1 cup simple syrup
- 1tsp agar-agar
- Fruit syrup
Inspired by the blood samples Dex takes from each victim, making these jello shots is easier than Deb after a few Coronas. Just boil the simple syrup & coconut water, then mix the agar-agar (which'll Jell-O-ize it) in until it's dissolved. Let the water cool, then dump in the vodka. Pour it into molds, and refrigerate 'em until solid. Finally, take a syringe (preferably not the one you found in the alley, even though it does look totally brand-new) and inject your favorite blood-colored syrup like strawberry or cherry. Or blood.

Dexter's Breakfast
- 1oz gin
- 1oz Cognac
- 1 egg white
- Juice of 1/2 grapefruit
- Dash of Tapatio
- 1 strip of candied bacon
Dex begins every day (well, every episode) with the same meticulously prepared breakfast, and just look how well that stabilizes him! Since he's a great role model, here's the liquid version: shake the booze, juice, and egg white over ice, then dump them into a martini glass. Throw in a couple dashes of Tapatio -- which actually retains a blood drop-like orb shape in liquid. Garnish it, as all things should be garnished, with a thick cut of candied bacon, and get ready for a great day of upstanding citizenry.