Even Starbucks will comp a regular
By the end of the night I felt completely destroyed. I'd reached the end of the Internet, my body was aching from sitting in one place for so long, and I'd exhausted most the menu. I was ordering sparkling water just as an excuse to talk to other humans.
Around 11:45, when I ordered my fifth bottle of San Pelly, the manager finally acknowledged my longevity. She said that I must be very thirsty, and meant that I must be very crazy.
Hell, I thought, let's go out with a bang. I want a cookie too. Whatever her favorite kind is. Chocolate chip? Count me in. Warmed up? She knows me so well.
Instead of placing my cookie on the counter, Manager On Duty hand-delivered it to my table along with a little surprise. She whispers that she brought me an oatmeal raisin cookie as well, just so I could taste it. It's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.
You're never the worst person in a Starbucks
At 11:54, my generous sugar momma called out a warning. “Attention lovely Starbucks customers, we'll be closing in six minutes. SIX MINUTES.” I was nearly out of the jungle.
Then at one minute 'til midnight, a final customer walked in and stepped up to the counter. Manager On Duty asked him what she could get started for him, and just then his phone rang and he picked it up.
“Just one second,” he says.
On my way out I almost thanked him for making me feel like I wasn't the biggest asshole in the room.
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Dan Gentile is a staff writer at Thrillist. He enjoys tests of will, free cookies, and Evolution Cold-Press Sweet Green and Lemon juice. Follow him to Pike's Place flashbacks at @Dannosphere.