So what are you going to bitch about now?
Complain about customers who don’t know what they want and waste your time while they try to figure it out (chances are, you are this customer). Or people who expect Starbucks-level customization at coffee shops that don't encourage it. Or evil Hollywood movie agents who expect interns who have never trained as baristas to remember complicated latte orders and then fire them when they come back with 10 pumps of vanilla instead of 12. Or those cheating New England Patriots, or that spying NSA, or that sovereign nation-invading Vladimir Putin.
Hell, bitch about how annoying it is when couples complain that, when they tell people that they’re pregnant, everybody makes such a big deal about it -- as if they’d be happier if you just said, “Oh, cool” and then asked them how many weekends they wanted in the Dewey Beach summer share you were organizing.
It’s a big world out there, filled with at least 87,000 things more worthy of your condescension than my Starbucks order. Pick one. Or maybe try combining several of them together. Whatever makes you happy, d-bag.
David Blend is an executive editor at Thrillist. He likes every Jason Statham movie except the artsy one with the nun in it, so he really doesn't have the right to criticize your tastes. Follow him on Twitter here.