Hell, bitch about how annoying it is when couples complain that, when they tell people that they’re pregnant, everybody makes such a big deal about it -- as if they’d be happier if you just said, “Oh, cool” and then asked them how many weekends they wanted in the Dewey Beach summer share you were organizing.
It’s a big world out there, filled with at least 87,000 things more worthy of your condescension than my Starbucks order. Pick one. Or maybe try combining several of them together. Whatever makes you happy, d-bag.
David Blend is an executive editor at Thrillist. He likes every Jason Statham movie except the artsy one with the nun in it, so he really doesn't have the right to criticize your tastes. Follow him on Twitter here.