"Interestingly, moderate alcohol use – about one to two drinks per day – was correlated with the healthiest aging, while very low and high consumption were linked to accelerated aging," the paper states.
So, basically, if you want to keep those dashing looks and fully functional (and also sometimes dashing) organs, it's best to straddle that healthy medium between not drinking at all, and not tying one on every night -- lest you lose that youthful glow.
Here's a nice, quick mnemonic trick to remember all this: a couple beers, you're in the clear; too much or too little, and you are going to look really shitty and probably die sooner than if you just drank a few beers so lighten up but don't get all sloppy okay dude?
Wil Fulton is a Staff Writer for Thrillist. He thought of that rhyme all by himself. Follow him @wilfulton