We guess teaching your dog to fetch the newspaper will make you more worldly, but teaching him to grab you a beer is way more useful. Find out how to turn Fido into your personal bartender via this handy, illustrated guide from Wikihow. It might be several steps long, and you might need to fasten one of Steven Tyler's scarves to your fridge handle in the process, but never leaving your couch during a Gilmore Girls marathon again? Totally worth it.
Kristin Hunt is a food/drink staff writer for Thrillist. Some of her strongest friendships are built on cheeseburgers. Follow her at @kristin_hunt.