Knuckle tattoos: He looks down on girls who get mustaches inked on their fingers, but only because they're not attracted to "SINK" & "SWIM" inked on his. There's more to him than meets the eye, dammit!
“Retro” timepiece: The battery in his Timex for J.Crew field watch has been dead since "hipsters" were a thing. Then again, he never seems to have anything to be late to, because he's always here.
So many #menswear bracelets: Sailor's knots, tribal beads, fishhook charms -- how does one wrist hold all this? They clack when he types, and you just caught yourself fantasizing about amputating his hands, Saw IV-style. Wow, that was sorta troubling. Do you think you're really capable of that sort of vio-- HOLY HELL, THAT IS IRRITATING.
Multiple notebooks: One is full of bad poetry about drugs he's never done; the other, bad sketches of Norman Mailer's face. Several have never been opened, and are completely for show.
A blank tee with the LOOSEST neck: Often worn alone beneath his coat, this thing looks cheap, but is probably pricier than anything you own. A blindingly pale, disturbingly scrawny chest lurks beneath that plunging neckline.