The Guy Who Went To Belgium That One Time
No, seriously, we’d really love to hear you overpronounce “Cantillon” for the 12th time in the last three minutes.
The Guy Who Only Drinks Bud Heavies. In Cans. Ever.
He tried Bud Dry once in the ‘80s. It did NOT go well.
The 36-Year-Old Still Making Power Hour Mixes
“Oh dude, this one has so much Stone Temple Pilots.”
The Guy Who Strategically Insists On Always Getting The First Round
Tread carefully, he’s working on the assumption that you’ll drink enough to keep thinking you owe him beers all night.
The Intimidatingly Knowledgeable Bearded Guy
Sure he seems nice, but you always get the sense that he’s judging your order. And he is. OH, he is.
The Guy Suspiciously Buying Girls Rounds Who Isn’t Drinking And Is Wearing A Coat Indoors
Just arrest him now already.
The Fledgling Homebrewer Who Desperately Wants You And Anyone Else To Drink His Beer
He’s got, like, seven gallons of very mediocre pale ale left in his basement and he can’t stomach another sip. Just take some home. Please?
The Guy Who Modeled His Beer Drinking Life After Jimmy Buffett’s Song Catalogue
Whoops you spilled beer on his Tommy Bahama shirt. It’s cool man he has three more at home. Hey, is it 5 o’clock somewhere?!