"Piano Man" - Billy Joel
If this was any more of a bar cliche, there'd be an old Irish barkeep with a towel over his shoulder saying "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here."
"I'm usually a positive person. I never knew blind, unadulterated rage till I heard 'Piano Man.' -- Dave, Los Angeles, CA
"Don't Stop Believin'" - Journey
This is it, the most mentioned song on our list. Frankly, it's objectively horrible to play this in a bar, under any circumstances.
"This is the worst thing you can do at a bar, short of whipping it out and peeing on a busboy." -- Tripp, Baltimore, MD
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Wil Fulton is a staff writer for Thrillist. He's never once peed on a busboy, but once he threw up on a horse. Follow him: @wilfulton.