Sommelier: “It’s a very pale, going on green color. I get lavender. Like, soapy lavender. It reminds me of my dad’s bathtub [Editor's Note: Weird]. This is pretty damn palatable. There’s acid, there’s fruit, and there some semblance of a body to it. There’s certainly an element of fake oak, in the best possible way. It’s as if somebody took a whole bunch of the wood chips from when playgrounds were badass.”
What is it?: “Chardonnay.”
Girlfriend: "I know exactly what this smells like. A hippie. Not the kind of hippie that camps out at Phish concerts, the kind who gets acupuncture and wears crystals. Not the patchouli thing. It just smells like nature, I guess. This is the Jessica Simpson of wines. A little trashy, but you wanna like it."
Score: “This is a 7 for me.”
What is it?: “Yep, Chardonnay.”