The Old Gym Teacher
He's been at the bar in an old-timey sweatsuit since happy hour talking about how the current football team is a bunch of pansies because they wear helmets and drink water, occasionally. When he recognizes you, he immediately demands you drop and give him 20. For some reason, you oblige. The next day, you have a welt shaped like his hand on your ass.
The Hippie Who Is Still a Hippie
He won't shut up about how great it is to live in Colorado, or about how over Phish he is now, despite the fact that he's still wearing a Phish shirt from the Billy Breathes tour. He keeps tempting you to come out into his car to roast a bone and listen to a gnarly Umphrey’s McGee bootleg. And weirdly, you're kind of into it.
The Class President
Everybody knew he would be a success. He had charm. He had moxie. And now, he's got a beer belly. But he's still making the rounds. He remembers everyone's name and makes it a point to talk to every person he recognizes... and leaves them with a business card, because, dammit, you don't become the best junior insurance salesman in the county by slacking off/keeping all your own business cards.