The Newly Minted Hipster
He just flew in from Williamsburg, and won't stop complaining about how neither Brooklyn Brewing nor Pabst is on tap, and how nobody rolls their own cigarettes. He just asked the bartender if the pickled eggs are house-made. They are not.
The Band Geek Who Got Super Hot
In high school, she was an awkward tromboner. Now, she's gorgeous, but still shy and awkward. That won't stop someone from attempting to make at least three tromboner jokes though.
The "Best Friend" Whose Name You Can't Remember
He knows everything about you and your family, your spouse's name, what you do for a living, where you went to school, and your pet's name. You have absolutely no idea who this person is. DAMN YOU FACEBOOK!
The Sweethearts Who Are Still Together
They were the cutest couple. The prom king and queen. They got married while in college. They have four kids whose names all start with "J." The Recent Divorcee grits her teeth whenever they walk by.
The Teacher Everybody Hated
He remembers your name. Right away. Fondly. You debate telling him what an a-hole he was, but instead buy him a drink. He always wins, dammit.