The Newly Minted Hipster
He just flew in from Williamsburg, and won't stop complaining about how neither Brooklyn Brewing nor Pabst is on tap, and how nobody rolls their own cigarettes. He just asked the bartender if the pickled eggs are house-made. They are not.
The Band Geek Who Got Super Hot
In high school, she was an awkward tromboner. Now, she's gorgeous, but still shy and awkward. That won't stop someone from attempting to make at least three tromboner jokes though.
The "Best Friend" Whose Name You Can't Remember
He knows everything about you and your family, your spouse's name, what you do for a living, where you went to school, and your pet's name. You have absolutely no idea who this person is. DAMN YOU FACEBOOK!