13. The Game Manager
He’s got his jersey, team hat, and enough pride-fueled testosterone to get banned even from Cameron Indoor Stadium, where people are apparently crazy. And that’s all fine. Except he’s watching a regular season Duke basketball game. And you’re not in a sports bar. And you’re in New Hampshire.
14. The Suck Magnet
Your very own friend, who despite his many fine qualities is incapable of extricating himself from any conversation started with him by anybody. If a 50-year-old corkboard salesman starts talking to him about how Craigslist killed the public kiosk, he will pretend to be interested until you pull him out of there like a fireman pulling a baby out of a burning building. Which is cool, you're a hero like that.