Food & Drink

The six worst reasons to drink Scotch

Dave Presley

Obviously, Johnnie Walker believes that becoming a Scotch drinker is a commendable thing. However, there are people out there who do it for the wrong reasons, which is an insult to people who do it for the right reasons. More importantly, it's an insult to Scotch! For instance, it is a terrible idea to start drinking Scotch just because:

Laying down the credit card
Leighton Pope

You think it’s a status symbol
There’s no such thing as a status symbol. There are only things that tend to be enjoyed by people with status.

Ted Is Interesting
Glenn Harris

You think it makes you interesting
It’s interesting that you think that!

Turning 30
Leighton Pope

You feel like you’ve reached the age where you have to like it
Right, because the saying goes "Death, taxes, and developing a taste for peat."

Sheepish pina colada drinker
Leighton Pope

Someone else told you that you have to like it
Other people shouldn’t even be able to make you like something on Facebook, much less like something inside your mind. If malt's not your thing, keep drinking whatever floats your umbrella.

It puts hair on your chest
Leighton Pope

You heard it "puts hair on your chest"
Did you also hear that researchers at Slovakia's Trnava University discovered that 80% of women prefer smooth-chested men? Still want that hair?

Gremlin + Scotch
Dave Presley

You enjoy enforcing rules
Save the "you can't put water in that!" for toaster ovens and Gremlins -- let people take their whisky how they want to take their whisky.

When it comes down to it, there’s really only one good reason to drink scotch.

Because you’re ready.

PLEASE DRINK RESPONSIBLY. ©2013 Imported by Diageo, Norwalk, CT.