There's a global wine shortage. NOBODY PANIC.

If you're reading this, stop what you're doing right this second and go fill a liquor store cart with all the wine. All of it! No, not because you just realized you have no booze for your doomsday bunker -- it's because we have a worldwide shortage on our hands. According to a report by Morgan Stanley Research, wine production is down across the board, but wine consumption is up, meaning we're in for some serious supply problems. Last year, the world's wine stash was already pretty dicey, barely exceeding demand. BUT if you adjust the numbers to include non-guzzling wine uses (like making vermouth), there was actually a 300mil case undersupply, which is the biggest shortfall in 50yrs. A big part of the problem is that the three biggest wine-making countries (Spain, Italy, France) are lagging in production, but Europe, which accounts for 60% of the global wine supply, has generally been tanking it. It's seen a 25% decrease in vino manufacturing since 2004, and at this point it's the only market large enough to reverse the trend. Get it together, Europe! Man cannot live on Franzia alone.