Order a delivery pizza to the bar
And share with everybody. Or at least the bartender, who will henceforth be your best friend.
Be the DD
Just once. But DD the shit out of it and make multiple trips if you have to.
Befriend an elderly person with stories to tell
And listen with respect while buying beers for the both of you as you listen to long-winded stories that will blow you away. Do this often.
Become an elderly person with stories to tell
And be listened to with respect while being bought beers for telling long-winded stories you're making up on the spot, just like that old lying bastard you used to talk to here 30 years ago.
Watch your team win a championship
Whether it's your city's NBA squad or your township's Little League team, bask in the fact that sometimes it's better to witness greatness via the glow of TV screens with 20 strangers than amid a crowd of revelers at a stadium. Actually, no, that part's not true. But you really shouldn't be drinking at a Little League game after the last incident…