Food & Drink

Triumph's 10 best insults at the Great American Beer Fest

Published On 10/23/2013 Published On 10/23/2013
Triumph the insult comic dog

Triumph the Insult Comic, Conan's best lap dog aside from Andy Richter, just pooped all over the Great American Beer Festival (aka the Distant Fathers Expo). Here's the video and his 10 best insults.

Team Coco

10. Do you consider yourself a good judge of beers? Because you certainly aren't a good judge of food portions! I did it again! I made a joke about his girth!

9. Brewing beer is like making love to Madonna at this age. It takes a lot of time and patience, you've gotta keep stirring and stirring, and at the end there's way more yeast than you thought there'd be.

8. You consider yourself a connoisseur of micro brews? That's very interesting. I consider myself a connoisseur of pretentious jag-offs and I find you fascinating!

7. Seriously, this is awful s**t. If you want someone to taste your piss so badly you should start dating Ke$ha.

6. Gluten-free beer? I don't want to try it, I just want to sniff the area where your balls used to be.

5. Fish Brewing Company? That's a real name? You're a bunch of losers. Your names are never going to work. I've got some names. Pay attention. All the Good Hobbies Were Taken Lager. This Is Why I'm Morbidly Stout Stout. Late Night Call To Your Ex-Wife Double Bock. Gay After Three Beers Porter. Start A Fight With Your Lawn Jockey Ale. By The End Of The Night I'll Say The N-Word Lager.

4. Looking at you, you're an expert -- which beer pairs best with a TV dinner and a broken marriage?

3. I've seen a better male to female ratio at the Vatican.

2. The last time I saw a head this frothy I was getting blown by a bitch with rabies.

1. A micro-brew connoisseur walks into the bar, and says to the bartender give me your finest pumpkin ale, but make sure it's not too hoppy. And then the bartender pulls out a baseball bat and beats him senseless while everyone cheers.