America: WINE YEAH!
Sure, that was a lazy lede, but it's no time for critiques, because this is a celebration. According to the International Organization of Wine & Vine, which keeps track of these things, the United States just beat out France as the world's new wine-purchasing heavyweight. So again...
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In its just-released 2013 market report, grape juice's governing body states, "The United States stood out with 29.1mhl [768,740,672gal] of wines consumed [...] becoming the biggest internal market in the world". By the way, that vino volume doesn't even include "vermouth and special wines" (which is a fancy term for Boone's Farm). Basically, George Washington is really proud of all of us, friends.
Dave Infante is a senior writer for Thrillist and a patriot. He wants no cheese with his wine, because that would take up valuable space for more wine. Follow him on Twitter @dinfontay.