For decades, the Kool-Aid Man has bravely championed the right to crash through strangers' walls with zero legal consequences. But according to a recent investigation, he probably wouldn't be shouting, "Oh yeah!" after each demolition. He'd more likely be losing his bright red color, and then passing out in front of his 7-year-old fans.
The YouTube channel Vsauce3 examined the Kool-Aid Man's height (6ft), weight (11,000lbs, when filled up), and more to figure out if he could survive all that wall-crashing. While he could definitely make it through the bricks without shattering, our host Jake cautioned that he'd be hemorrhaging about 1/3 of his "blood" (the juice), which means he'd be on the verge of going into shock. Loss of consciousness usually comes next, so the guy would likely need medical attention after each stunt. The lesson here is running into brick walls remains a shaky idea, even if you're blessed with 5.5 metric tons of weight and a collection of chill Hawaiian shirts.
Kristin Hunt is a Food/Drink staff writer for Thrillist, and was always a little scared of the Kool-Aid Man growing up. Follow her to panic rooms at @kristin_hunt.