It's a dilemma that's plagued stoner winos since the dawn of time: Do I open up a new bottle first, or pack myself a bowl, then forget allll about that wine? Well, thanks to vintners out in Cali, that conundrum has been solved… with WEED WINE. Vice took a deep dive into the most important story of our time, gathering intel from local vintners Pierre and Miguel, if those are their real names. (Spoiler alert: No way.) Turns out vineyards between Santa Barbara and Sonoma have been experimenting with weed wine on the sly since the '70s and early '80s. Supposedly white is the most natural pot pairing, lending itself to "more natural aromatics, a healthy arrangement of marijuana and grapes, lower alcohol levels, and more balanced weed wines". Reds can be overpowering and apparently lead to worse trips than your infamous '93 family vacation. And roses? As much as Rick Ross would like that, nobody else apparently would. Of course, weed wine isn't easy to find. It always comes in an unlabeled bottle with a blank cork and sometimes has a codename. Pierre's double vintage, for instance, is known in parties as "Two Birds One Stone", because he is a very clever man. Drop its name at the next CA party you attend and the next morning you, too, might experience what we can only imagine is the most confusing hangover of your life.