Mad Men is gone until 2015, and many of us have gigantic, rocks-glass-sized holes in our hearts. For a little healing, we've scoured the past to compile old-school magazine clips that combine Don and Roger's two favorite things: booze and ads. They all ran in the '60s, and they're the kind of bizarre campaigns probably dreamed up during a three-martini lunch. Check out the retro oddities below:
Really Dough's Mark & Scott Take a Bunch of Shots, Do Blind Pizza Taste Test, Argue a Lot
This is what Gravity would have been like if it was made in Russia.
They're obviously playing on the sad clown trope, except the geniuses responsible for this ad seemed to have forgotten along the way that clowns are terrifying. No wonder your parents still scream every time they see an empty bottle of Schlitz.
Similarly, the makers of Pinch scotch wanted to make sure you had many nightmares. Only instead of clowns, it's cartoons with enormous teeth and aggressive bangs that were apparently inspired by actress Leslie Uggams. And by "inspired" we mean "willed into existence under the influence of peyote".
Will the current owners of that Heineken capri jumpsuit please come forward and claim all the prizes?