1oz cranberry juice, 1/2oz peach schnapps, 3/4oz Jägermeister
Your friends will not do Jäger shots with you anymore. It's not that they don't like it, but you're just so goddamn into it. It's all you talk about when you get to the bar. "Let's do Jäger shots!" you'll say. Repeatedly. You're always trying to get people to go to that one bar with the frozen Jäger machine. No one ever wants to go. But Redheaded Sluts? Everyone will down one of those no problem. No one has to know Jäger is in it. That's your little secret.
Three Wise Men
1oz Johnnie Walker, 1oz Jim Beam, 1oz Jack Daniel's
It's like clockwork. You are seated in your chair at the end of the bar in this crappy little dive at 5:02pm, Monday through Friday. Yeah, the carpet smells like death and the people are horrible, but the shots are $2 if you order them before 6, and you are always there before 6. This shot temporarily makes you forget about all the bullshit that transpired in your day for the previous eight hours. You have no other plans for the night. Who needs real friends, anyways, when you've got Johnnie, Jim, and Jack?
1oz Kahlua, 1oz Baileys, 1oz Grand Marnier, served on fire
What the hell is with shots and depressing war references? Actually, you've never once wondered that. You don't even know the name of this shot, you just ask the bartender for a shot that's on fire. And yeah, you're a little scared of taking down a flaming shot, but it attracts attention when you're about to put it to your lips. Maybe that person you've been glancing at all night will notice you now. Yep, they're definitely looking... probably because your beard is on fire.
Umm, we're gonna say a few ounces of tequila? And a wedge of lime plus some salt.
If the tequila is cheap: You want to go where the night takes you, and you do not care if you end up in jail at the end of it. You end up in jail at the end of most nights out.
If the tequila is not cheap: You make sure that everyone around you hears the name of the very expensive tequila brand you just ordered for you and your friends. You hate the taste, but it's a good look. That also explains the fancy-looking watch you insist on wearing, which definitely isn't a real Rolex. But who's gonna ever look that close? You say the name of the tequila you ordered again, just in case people didn't hear the first time.
1oz Buttershots, 1/2oz Irish cream
You're a monster of a human being. OK, not in the "you were once a strong-arm dictator of a country" sort of way, but in other, even more insidious ways. You never tip in bars or restaurants. You've never met a situation you couldn't scream "woohoo" in. You wear white after Labor Day… to funerals. In college, your roommate got flowers from that guy she just started dating, but you said they came for you and you never once felt bad about it. So yeah, you're the kind of person who enjoys Buttershots and Irish cream mixed together.