So maybe you’ve heard about this alcoholic drink they sell at Whole Foods that’s good for you, right? The crazy fermented probiotic stuff in the giant cooler next to the wine, that'll not only give you a cool buzz but detox the f&%k out of you in the process?
Well, the stuff is called kombucha, and it's been around for something like 5,000 years. It's originally Chinese (although today a large percentage of the stuff in the US is made by a California company, Synergy Drinks), and it reportedly maintains all kinds of magical healing powers. It also, as we mentioned, contains around .5% alcohol. So, it's a whopping 1 proof.
Which means you’d have to drink pretty much EVERY SINGLE VARIETY at your local Whole Foods to even catch a buzz. Which is, well, what we did. And then we ranked them by flavor. As you can imagine, minimally buzzed probiotic insanity ensued.