Astrological signs, if one chooses to believe in them, can divine many things about an individual's life with surprising accuracy. For example, your zodiac can help you identify the perfect show to stream or the perfect cocktail to drink. But it can also indicate things you might already know about yourself, such as your established drinking habits.
So here's a deep dive into all the whens, wheres, and how muches that rule your star sign's boozy pursuits, for all you curious, beverage-loving mystics out there. Grab a glass, settle in, and prepare to be stunned by the powers that be.
Aries (March 21st-April 19th)
Aries, you ambitious social butterfly, moving from red wine at dinner with the dean to frat house Fireball shots in a bat of an eyelash. I'm not saying you're reckless, Ar, just, you know, thirsty... literally. You're the party's life force, an electric king balanced atop his icy keg throne, suspended in mid-air by two loyal, calf-gripping subjects. Did somebody say beer pong? You're in. Enjoy the festivities, my fiery friend, but be sure to pop some Advil before you hit the hay -- there are more fears to conquer, more cans to crush, more devils in need of advocates, and more TAs to impress/torture with incendiary political opinions tomorrow.