One K-Cup in the morning
Just to be a good sport you volunteered for the company softball team even though you can't throw, catch, bat, or crouch comfortably. That mentality also fuels the consumption of one daily, symbolic "cup of joe," which is a phrase you like to throw around a few times in the first hour of the day with a joyless smile.
In today's digital age it's unclear how one can amass so much printed material on a physical desktop, but despite the leaning towers of paperwork, you function best under pressure. Or at least that's what you tell yourself to justify being constantly "swamped" and/or "drowning."
After-lunch coffee shop espresso
Some people function better when they can get out of the office and stretch their legs, which is a favorite saying of people who'd rather not be working. Unlike most slackers, you actually function much more productively with an out-of-office field trip a few times a week. Despite a fondness for the phrase "work-life balance," you rarely get home before 7. Very familiar with the least conspicuous ways to enter the office.