You're either a 20-something female social media coordinator who is comforted by the familiarity of seeing rosé on a menu, or a 20-something male CPA who's barely balding at the crown and relieved the wine's recent popularity has made it OK, even cool, in your mind for you to like pink drinks. Either way you HATE socks.
Ever since you got back from the year you spent in Argentina you've been really into big, bold reds and environmental advocacy. Though your commitment to the latter is only seen through Instagram regrams. You swirl your wine at group dinners the longest, and don't care much for wine pairings. You also might not have a job at all, but no one knows for sure.
You have to admit, you mostly only drink shiraz because it's what the Trader Joe's-brand boxed wine is, and you love all things Trader Joe's. You work at Whole Foods.
Your family is Sicilian. Or Tuscan, you're not quite sure. But farm people, definitely, which means you grew up drinking the blood of Jove... in Central Florida where your grandmother relocated the family to from Poughkeepsie in the early '80s. You're a financial analyst... for now.
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Kevin Alexander is Thrillist's national writer-at-large and likes Oregon pinot noir with those screw caps. Please do not follow him at @KAlexander03. It will only encourage him.
Carrie Dennis is a national food and drink editor and likes malbec, but only because it's relatively easy to pronounce. Hire her to guerrilla market your vegan meats: @CarrrieDennnis.