You're dressed too formally to feel comfortable in a Dunkin' Donuts.
One pump sugar-free vanilla, one pump hazelnut, half-caf, no foam latte with soy milk
You have no friends in real life and 35000 Instagram followers.
Venti dark roast
You're a mysterious enigma, mostly because no one, including you, can figure out how you're going to drink 20oz of "bold" coffee.
The cheese plate
Wait. There's a cheese plate?!
Dan Gentile is a staff writer on Thrillist's national food/drink team who recently purchased a very nice toaster oven and is excited about exploring the world of crispy reheated food. He also enjoys hating mustard. Follow him to pots of gold/Twitter at @Dannosphere.