3. You can order a whole class of drinks during the day that would make you look like a crazy person any later (who orders a Screwdriver at night?).
4. Having a glass at lunch is a way easier method of getting some health benefits at work than buying a stupid standing desk.
5. You went so far as to order a steak. Are you really going to sully that cow’s memory with a soda? Those two things start with “s” and that’s about all they should ever have in common.
6. Ordering food with a ton of substitutions/stipulations is obnoxious. But somehow, doing the same with cocktails, especially off-menu, will make you seem sophisticated and urbane.
7. Throwing water in your bad Tinder date's face... well, it just doesn't have quite the same sting.