9. Because the type of drink you order can be seen as a liquidy extension of your personality, to be used to send a message to be used to friends/business associates/blind dates at your table.
10. Because you are so much more attractive when you drink… but not so much when you eat.
11. Waving a bottle around is a better way to articulate a point than using a fork. And communication is 55% body language so… go strong.
12. Because when you’re done with the first drink, when the server comes by, you get to say “I’m going to take another lap” to order another one.
13. Water doesn’t come with a little umbrella.
14. Something great could happen at any moment, and you might need to toast it. Alternatively, something bad might happen and you may just need to make a dramatic exit. Neither works with fries.