You may think you've got serious coffee cred for drinking that cup of heart-stoppingly potent Deathwish Coffee, but sorry, pal: You're no match for those caffeinated champions overseas. Quartz recently crunched the numbers on java intake around the globe, and it turns out USA ranked a dismal 16th place in the world.
So which country has the rankest coffee breath? The Netherlands, and it wasn't even close. Though the Dutch are famous for their other coffee shops, it turns out they consume an average 2.414 cups per day, presumably next to some idyllic tulips and a windmill. After them, the Scandinavians are the ones to beat -- Finland nabbed the silver with 1.848 cups and Sweden took third with 1.357. Denmark (1.237 cups) and Germany (1.231 cups) rounded out the top five.
Our nation has apparently been slacking on its morning Joe, 'cause we pulled a paltry 0.931 cups daily, placing just under New Zealand. Better than those losers in Costa Rica, but even still, George Washington is undoubtedly disappointed in us all.
Kristin Hunt is a food/drink staff writer for Thrillist, and has spent years trying to reunite the California Raisins to no avail. Follow her at @kristin_hunt.