The Power Luncher
Like the "Coffice" Worker, this macho business-type insists on having high-octane powwows in public spaces so he can show off his snazzy new suit and matching belt clip for his iPhone. He’s convinced you have a fax machine back there, and he’s not leaving until you let him use it.
Your daily transactions have been translated into a very deep emotional connection, evidenced by a sudden onslaught of Facebook likes, overly long line-clogging conversations, and suspiciously frequent instances of “bumping into” your “favorite customer” out in the real world. They couldn’t help but notice you were on a date the other day, either. Who’s the skank?
While we certainly love cleaning up the huge lunch your mom appears to have packed for you, maybe you should order something except free water while you have your picnic at the best table.
The Amateur Linguist
“Look, I’ve been to Italy. I know what a macchiato is, and this, sir, is no macchiato. In fact, there’s no caramel at all!”
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