"There's an epidemic plaguing our beloved craft beer industry. It's an infestation overwhelming brewery tasting rooms across the country. Not kettle sours or hazy IPAs or overhyped beers or triple mocha almond vanilla red velvet cinnamon porters. It's the unrelenting waves of assholes rolling from brewery to brewery on soulless ghost ships known as pedal hoppers. These vessels of douchery are not here to awaken its passengers to the marvels of your cities' and neighborhoods' budding craft beer scenes. Their sole purpose is to deliver as much debauchery to these interlopers under the guise of sightseeing.
"It has gotten so most breweries have banned entry to these pedicab 'tours.' There are the obvious issues of safety and over-serving that staffs deal with. There are also the 'pull-your-hair-out' questions flung at them like, 'You have Fireball?' 'Got any normal beer?' 'Lite beer?' ''Merican beer?' To anyone reading this who finds themselves roped into a bachelor/ette weekend through no fault of their own, remember that breweries are not dive bars or college nightclubs. Act like a grown-up and respect the love that goes into every drop of craft beer!" -- Jensen Cummings, Certified Cicerone, Brewed Food
Wax-dipped beer bottles
"As John Oliver would say, how is this still a thing? Actually, how was this ever a thing? OK, I sort of get the argument for wax dipping. Aesthetically, it looks cool. It implies that the beer is special, it's probably rare, and it's important to the brewer and brewery -- perhaps an anniversary beer or something barrel-aged or sour. Wax dipping might help reduce or slow down oxidation. Yeah, yeah I get it.
"But ya know what? Wax-dipped bottles are a fucking bitch to open. Maybe I'm lazy, maybe I don't have the proper wax-dipped-bottle opening devices, or maybe I've cut myself way too many times trying to open one of these suckers. And maybe, just maybe, I'm tired of having to drink the wax because I can never seem to open them correctly. But, either way, wax-dipped beer bottles? I'm over it." -- Ashley Routson, writer, Drink With The Wench
IPAs with garbage added to them
"I politely ask many of the aspiring brewers to stop adding shit to IPAs who don't know how to pimp it right. Let's get back to the basics and make a gangster one without all the extra bullshit. Besides that, let a mastery of balancing hops rightfully regain the spotlight of this style, ya dig?" -- Ale Sharpton, writer, Cruisin' For A Brewsin'
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