If you've ever looked at your container of Greek yogurt and wished that John Stamos would actually come hang out with you while you ate it it could get you drunk, you're kind of weird, but also prescient, as now it can, thanks to Bols Yogurt Liqueur. That breakfast-y looking liquid just launched in the States, and is packed with all the yogurt taste you know and, um, love, plus 30-proof alcohol. But will you actually want to drink this stuff? Bols kindly sent us a bottle to try, along with a recipe card of over 25 yogurt-fueled cocktail recipes ranging from "adult smoothies" to a whole section simply labeled "cheesecake". So Thrillist did what any noteworthy publication would do, and tasked its Editorial Assistants with trying it. See what transpired, below...
Donut Pizza: Pizza or Pastry?
No, not like that!
1.5oz Bols Yogurt
Adam: I’m partial to it! I actually like the consistency -- it just tastes like watery yogurt. Paige: It’s like the stuff on Greek yogurt that you have to mix in. Bianca I think it tastes like yogurt that’s gone bad, honestly. And it has a really disturbing texture. Renata: This is more disgusting than I usually am, but all that comes to mind is, like, milky discharge. Please do not put that next to my name.
The Sparkling Yogurt
1oz Bols Yogurt
Top up with Champagne (Ed note: They used Prosecco in lieu of Champagne because they're "broke recent college grads")
An aerial view of the bubbles.
Adam: This doesn’t smell right... Jamie: Oh, this is not going to be good.
Jamie: Is it not a shot? Guys?? Why did you sip it? Adam: What do you mean?? Jamie, this is CHAMPAGNE. Jamie: It actually wasn’t bad as a shot -- it tastes like cream soda. Paige: I don’t like it. Adam: Come on, it’s really not bad! It’s just... milkier champagne.
The White Horse
1oz Bols Yogurt
Top up with ginger ale
Renata: It smells deadly. Paige: Yeah, it smells like kind of "whoa"... but it tastes, not. Adam: I do like the spiciness of the ginger ale. It tastes like a spiced egg nog! Bianca: This is definitely my favorite of the three so far. And not just because it has bourbon in it! The other flavors just balance out the yogurt better. Jamie: Yeah, and it’s not that far from a White Russian. It’s definitely not as scary as it smells... which is something I've said before.
Adam: It has a nice milky bouquet.
Banana "Adult Smoothie"
3oz Bols Yogurt
Jamie: We don't all have to try the smoothie, right?
Jamie:(making whimpering noises) I really hate bananas. I don't want to do this.
Jamie: No, really, Bianca. (more whimpering) I don't want to do this? Please?
Jamie:(gagging) Oh, that is yucky. This is truly gross.
Adam: It tastes like cake frosting. Alcoholic cake frosting. Everyone: No! Paige: Cake frosting or cake batter? Bianca The texture is the main problem, really. Adam: I feel like this could be good for a hair-of-the-dog morning smoothie, maybe with some bananas or berries. Jamie: I would eat this for never because this is literally just bananas and YOGURT-FLAVORED BOOZE, and I hate bananas. I would enjoy this beverage if I were an alcoholic castaway who hadn't had water in a month.