5 Burro Cafe
72-05 Austin St, Forest Hills
To be perfectly honest, most of the horses I hang out with HATE burros, mainly due to their negative image as literal workhorses, but hey, we’re all genus Equus, right?! The quintet of them behind this just-kooky-enough Forest Hills gem work up queso fundido that will make your heart race faster than War Emblem at the Preakness, but the mane event is the massive Nachos con Langosta -- seriously, I got tiny little flakes of lobster all up in my mane, and didn’t even care. Like Shaq once said: “Tell me how the sizzling fajitas that ass cooked taste.” Well, Shaq: they're fantastic
1235 Prospect Ave, Prospect Park South
Sometimes, at the end of a long day, I just need a place to sit down and get some rest. Or stay standing up and get some rest -- I can do both, of course. Certain days, Le Paddock seems to be the only place to do so, especially when there’s not a Ranch*1 nearby. It’s just a quick trot from Kensington Stables near Prospect Park, a couple of my old buddies have been immortalized on the wall, and they have outdoor seating, which is great, since I’m too big to fit through like 90% of doors
324 Seventh Ave, Midtown West
Sure, it’s in that messy part of town by Penn Station where traffic makes it really tough to gallop for any extended stretch, but the gigantic Mustang Burger is always there when you’re so hungry you could eat a free-roaming horse of the North American west. WHOA, NOT LITERALLY!! Plus, this filly I know who ran for Mare used to hang out there, and let me tell you, she was a lot worse at running for anything after their serious happy hour. Definitely worth hoofing it over there.
In Bloomingdale’s, 1000 Third Ave, 7th fl, Lenox Hill