Food & Drink

9 Philly Bars You Can’t Go to Over Age 30

As you get older, the birthdays just keep getting better. At 16, you can drive a car. At 18, you can vote (and buy fireworks!). At 21, you can drink (legally). And at 30, you can... no longer go to these nine Philly bars. Um, yayyy?!

Courtesy of Nathaniel Dodson for Howl at the Moon

Howl at the Moon

Rittenhouse East
Outside of a bachelor/bachelorette party, no one over 30 should ever order a drink -- or in this case a bucket -- called “Swizzle Dizzle” or “Adios Mofo.” Leave it to the 20-year-olds to down those gallons of boozy sugar water. Their livers can handle it; yours probably can’t.
 

Fado

Rittenhouse East
Just because you’ve hit your third decade doesn’t mean you CAN’T go to Fado. Technically, the bouncers will still let you in. But be prepared to look like a chaperone at the wildest school dance in Philly.
 

Time

Gayborhood
Just to be clear, the bottom floor of Time is completely fine -- there’s great live music, good cocktails, and generally enough space to enjoy yourself. Head upstairs and the story’s a little different: on the weekends, the top floor becomes a Fireball-soaked, sweaty (and sticky) dance party with your requisite youngin's looking to hook up. But not with you, ‘cause you’re too old.

Mad River

Manayunk
With the 'Yunk being an ideal landing spot for the recently graduated crowd, there’s no shortage of bars catering to 22-year-olds still living the college dream. And hey, Mad River is the perfect place to crush beers beers with your bros, and eat “legendary” wings. But just not for you.

Ladder 15

Rittenhouse
If your idea of a good time is to wait in line, pay a cover only to stand in a cattle car, and observe impromptu dance circles started around a spinning bottle, Ladder is the bar for you!

Drinker's Tavern

Multiple locations
Drinker’s is a place where you can easily convince yourself that you can drink like you’re 21 again. There are 40s at the bar... and they’re cheap! But you should never let your wallet dictate your drink choice and never order a beer with more ounces than your age.
 

Smokey Joes

University City
Remember that first time you went back here after graduation? You still knew everyone, the bartenders still recognized your face, and the drinks were dirt cheap. Well, that was 10 years ago! Time to find a new drinking hole. Preferably one that doesn’t have people wearing Greek letters.

Irish Pub

Rittenhouse
Not lacking for originality in the name, Irish Pub is what you expect: an Irish pub. Except, instead of people drinking Guinness and listening to some Irish ditty, it’s full of bros pounding Bud Lights with the speakers pumping Diddy.

The Blarney Stone

University City
See above picture: $3 Long Islands (on a Tuesday) do not lead to #winning at work the next day.

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