Outside of a bachelor/bachelorette party, no one over 30 should ever order a drink -- or in this case a bucket -- called “Swizzle Dizzle” or “Adios Mofo.” Leave it to the 20-year-olds to down those gallons of boozy sugar water. Their livers can handle it; yours probably can’t.
Just because you’ve hit your third decade doesn’t mean you CAN’T go to Fado. Technically, the bouncers will still let you in. But be prepared to look like a chaperone at the wildest school dance in Philly.
Just to be clear, the bottom floor of Time is completely fine -- there’s great live music, good cocktails, and generally enough space to enjoy yourself. Head upstairs and the story’s a little different: on the weekends, the top floor becomes a Fireball-soaked, sweaty (and sticky) dance party with your requisite youngin's looking to hook up. But not with you, ‘cause you’re too old.