Congrats on winning that liter-lifting throwdown at Brauhaus Schmitz -- now bulk up more than your biceps with Thrillist Philly's guide to the besten Oktoberfest essentials. We've separated the lederhosen from the lame-derhosen to find the only bar in town with harvest drafts on SELF-SERVE TAPS, perfect for washing down the ultimate brew-braised bacon-sauerkraut-smothered sausages
And if you absolutely have to burn off those 'brats playing ping pong in Fishtown 'til last call, ja, we've got a beer garden for that too.
Best Drafts: BRU
Because the future is now, the self-serve draft system at this block-deep Midtown Village beer garden features touchscreen iPads and magnetic fob taps to help you choose and pour seasonal suds like BRU Hausfest, Ace Perry Cider, and Avery Brewing's The Kaiser, and because history repeats itself, there's also an old-school stone drainage system built underneath. At 30 cents an ounce, it's easy to lose your grip on more than your decision-making.
Best Sausages: Wursthaus Schmitz
The Brauhaus Schmitz crew's Reading Terminal Market stall is a Bavarian bodega-meets-butcher shop stacked with year-round Oktoberfest necessities like boxed knudel and curry ketchup, while the sizzling grills behind display cases, packed with take-away head cheese and Hungarian salami, cook up 17 specialty sausages like beef goulash-piled 'brats, horseradish mustard-slathered kielbasa, and cole slaw-smothered Bavarians.
Best Pretzels: Frankford Hall
The oversized warm Bavarian dough-knots roving vendors peddle at Stephen Starr's Fishtown beer garden are bigger than the ping pong paddles swinging inside the Frankford Ave courtyard's outdoor tables, and are sure to land in your cuppa cheese dip before the ball ever does.
Best Cocktails: Stratus Lounge
Prefer rooftop lounges to beer gardens and brew-floating booze to steins of hard suds? Hide yourself high above Old City on the Hotel Monaco's indoor-outdoor party deck, where the resident mixologist's shaking up Oktoberfest with the rye-and-honey Reinheitsgebot topped with Yards Brawler, and October in the Caribbean, a two-rum-and-lime 'tail with a Flying Dog IPA rising above it all.
Best Patio: City Tap House
Not a real pagan celebration unless you're bathed in harvest moonlight and the glow of five high-flaming fire pits? Sorry, but Oktoberfest is actually a commemoration of the marriage of... never mind. Once your date's warmed up to you on this UCity upper deck, she'll believe pretty much anything you say, except maybe how you're descended from King Ludwig I and... what's her name?
Even after you set the all-time high score on Tapper, the guys at Barcade still won't let you sling suds, so head to BRU Craft & Wurst, an all-day, block-deep Midtown Village beer garden from the guys behind Finn McCools and Prime Lounge, where you can pour your own drafts by the ounce via iPad-controlled taps.
If there's one thing Germans and Philadelphians have in common, it's that they can be total jerks when they're backing the same cause. But if there's another, it's liking German food. So thank the glorious bastards behind Wursthaus Schmitz, a white-tiled mega-stall inside Reading Terminal Market from the dudes behind Brauhaus Schmitz.
One of the only year-round beer gardens, Frankford Hall is also the most traditional German biergarten. The brick-walled Fishtown spot has a menu that features German classics like spätzle, schnitzel, and six different types of sausages. Additionally, the draft beer list has over 10 different German beer selections, all available in large, liter steins. It's especially popular in the summer months, when an opening at one of the picnic tables is harder to find than a parking spot in Fairmount.
A jewel in Philadelphia's Old City district, Hotel Monaco Philadelphia boasts luxury suites and the famous Stratus Rooftop Lounge, equipped with an awesome fireplace. If only the Founding Fathers could ball this out of control.