It's like high school, with less zits and more drinking
Because you deserve the chance to redeem yourself for not getting any further than touching Cassie Johnson's butt, by accident, during some Bryan Adams song at prom, some genius individual cooked up Breakside's Winter Formal, which's going down Saturday at promtastic Melody Ballroom
The Party: Everyone will show up in legit formalwear, or at least their nicest longsleeve tuxedo t-shirt, then get photos snapped while giving people hilarious bunny ears in front of cheesy backdrops, before trying to convince strangers that they're popular in order to take home the attendee-selected titles of King and Queen
The Music: Marvin Berry was booked despite not being a real person, so they went with multi-instrumentalist/DJ Boy Eats Drum Machine and Bollywood-style mainstays DJ Anjali & The Incredible Kid
The Beers: In addition to a full bar, there're 10 taps from Burnside, the Commons, and host Breakside, which's also tapping four rare barrel-aged beasts like the thick Bourbon Maple Oaked Stout, the sour Post Modern Lambic, and a monster 11.7% barleywine that shares a name with a prom classic: Old Whiskey Dick.