"She asked for a latte one day, and before I could ask her if she wanted to give our hemp milk a look she started to slide a mason jar of off-white fluid across the counter. It was breast milk. It took everything inside me to suppress the urge to jump into traffic and politely tell her that this was the most unsanitary thing anyone has ever asked me to do in my long life as a barista. She was pissed, and I haven’t seen her since then. Good riddance!" - Steve, Kerns
Next time, leave the dog at home
"For some reason, people in Portland think it’s OK to bring their dog into places if they’re only going to be a few minutes. If you’re reading this, take note: it’s NOT OK to bring your dog into restaurants, and here’s why. Some lady brought her Border Collie puppy into my shop while I was still training, and everyone thought it was way too cute to kick out on the spot like we normally do. It was a busy Sunday morning shift -- I was stuck running dishes and being the lackey for most of the day, and didn’t want people to think I was a monster for kicking out this cute little puppy that was basically just sitting in the corner doing nothing.