Portland lore would lead one to believe just about anything in St. Johns is hidden by virtue of being located at the very edge of our insular little universe, but this unbelievably quaint porch replica hidden behind Kruger’s Farm Market on Lombard may be the most postcard-friendly spot to grab a beer in the entire city. Mason jars full of fresh brew from Captured By and a handful of other local brewers? Check. Wood-burning stoves and worn-out plaid couches? Double check. It’s only a matter of time before Portlandia pokes fun at the folks relaxing at the Beer Porch with their knitting circle and their mandolins, so you better give it a look before it’s “over.”
You’re not alone if you only remember a quarter of the visits you’ve paid to this classic Southeast boozery, but you likely have at least one memory banked away of a night that ended with someone punking you by laying into the massive tree in the corner of the patio before telling you it was fake. It’s alright if you’ve forgotten completely -- the drinks here are stiff, and said patio is waiting for you to rediscover its greatness.
It’s hard to pay any attention to the actual bar scene of 82nd, what with the endless expanse of sleazy dim-sum spots and used car dealerships enveloping every last inch of real estate on the Eastern frontier of Portland proper. Be sure to give Stein Haus a look if your search for a used Subaru leaves you exhausted and in need of obscure German beer and an impressive patio to drink it on -- it’s one of the few in the area that’s not overrun with despondent day-drinkers, and the cornhole set is an added bonus if that’s your (bean) bag.