8. If there is a house specialty, it’s lethal
Whether it's Li Po’s Mai Tai or Latin American Club’s "margaritas" (in quotes because THEY'RE SERVED IN PINT GLASSES), one is guaranteed to do the trick.
9. Using the bathroom is an adventure
Don’t expect a functional lock. Or toilet paper. Or any level of cleanliness. Really, just be happy there's still a seat on there. Oh, and dive bar bonus points if the bartender has to buzz you through a metal door that leads to the basement toilet (<3 you, Buddha Lounge).
10. At least part of the LED sign is broken