Best Pretzel: Haus Staudt This Redwood City German joint offers up frisbee-sized bread knots that double as open-faced salami sandwiches (whaaaa?), heaped with a gajillion slices of fresh salami and Swiss.
Best Big Beers: Suppenkuche The oldest Deustchlandian restaurant in the city, Suppenkuche is also the biggest-beer-offering Deustchlandian restaurant in the city, with suds sizes that include a liter, a boot (2L!), and a 5L super-stein.
Best East German Dictator Portraits: Walzwerk Wouldn't it be cool to eat brats and spatzle while surrounded by framed pictures of communist leaders? No? Yeah, good point.
Best Beer Garden: Biergarten Because Zeitgeist is gross. And they have blankies for when it's cold!