Okay, you have to promise you're not gonna tell anyone about this, but there's a nearly 100-year-old secret speakeasy UNDERNEATH old-school North Beach hat-ery Goorin Bros., with secret tunnels, remnants of crazy-old Victorian light fixtures, and the original, whiskey-stained hardwood floors.
We know this because Goorin gave us a key to the private, back staircase door (!!!!!!!!!), which we're gonna use to let 50 Thrillist readers in for the first party in their Prohibition-era digs in a very, VERY long time.
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The fourth-generation, family-owned, lid-maker's storefront was actually built on top of the illegal boozery, which you can access through a hall just off the basement storeroom. The speakeasy itself is a large, windowless room (don't worry, we've got candles) with vaulted ceilings, and an interior that legitimately looks like it hasn't been inhabited since Prohibition was, uh, prohibited.
Alright, now more about the party...
It's gonna happen next Thursday, September 18th from 7-10pm. There'll be a '20s-inspired band on the mezzanine (shmancy!), a bar on the main floor pouring punch bowls filled with what's essentially a bourbon Negroni (Campari, Russell's Reserve bourbon, sweet vermouth), and then -- down the back staircase -- an underground bar with pours of Russell's Reserve Rye.
So how do you get into the speakeasy?
Two ways. The first way is to LIKE this story, TWEET THIS, and we'll randomly pick 25 people on Twitter to attend the private party with a guest. The second way is to sell your mint-condition Teddy Ruxpin and use the cash to buy-out the entire North Beach shop (including the speakeasy!) for your own personal private event.
Event fine print: you've gotta be 21+ to attend, RSVP required, tickets are non-transferable, and the event will benefit the Red Cross South Napa Quake Relief Efforts.
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Grant Marek is a Senior Editor at Thrillist and wishes more of SF's speakeasies were in water towers. If you know of one, tell him about it on Twitter: @grant_marek