In case you didn't know, Wesley Snipes, today's Tax Day. And since, after supporting California's amazing freeways, the amount of money you now have left over would either get you, like, 1.5 hot dogs or half a cocktail, we've rounded up six bars that are offering today-only, you-gotta-mention-Thrillist $2 drink deals (one per customer per bar, so make sure to hit all six). Also: super-cool facts about taxes!!
The Bar: Tonic (2360 Polk St, at Union)
What You're Getting for Two Bucks: Fresh Greyhound
What You're Going to Tell the Dude Ironically(?) Wearing a Planeteer Shirt: "The IRS mails out eight billion pages of instructions and tax forms each year, or 300,000 trees' worth. Captain Planet would freak the eff out."
The Bar: Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem (2323 Mission St, btwn 19th & 20th)
What You're Getting for Two Bucks: Mayhem (rye, Calvados, Fernet Branca, simple syrup, orange bitters, Peychaud's bitters)
What You're Going to Stumblingly Tell This Bartender in a Horribly Misguided Attempt to Impress Her: "The first known system of taxation happened in Ancient Egypt around 3000 B.C. when peasants were forced to either give a fifth of their grain to the Pharaoh or work as forced laborers if they couldn't get in on the grain train."
The Bar: Lightning Tavern (1875 Union, btwn Laguna & Octavia)
What You're Getting for Two Bucks: Octavian (Ketel One Citroen, ripe blackberries, fresh mint, agave nectar)
What You're Going to Tell the Cougar Eyeing You: "The first electronic filing of a tax return happened on January 24, 1986. By a NERD."
The Bar: Soda Popinski's (1548 California, btwn Polk & Larkin)
What You're Getting for Two Bucks: Moscow Mule
What You're Going to Tell The Mustachioed Russian Video Game Character Tending Bar: "Russian monarch Peter The Great taxed beards. And also souls and chimneys and basements."
The Bar: Bullitt (2209 Polk, at Vallejo)
What You're Getting for Two Bucks: 40oz (seriously)
What You're Going to Tell Your Chicagbro: "In 1991, after the Bulls beat the Lakers in the NBA Finals, California levied the so-called "jock tax" on players from Chicago earning income in their state. Also known as the 'poor loser tax.'"
The Bar: Wild Hare (2801 Divisadero, at California)
What You're Getting for Two Bucks: The Wild Hare (Wild Turkey bourbon, Maraschino, Campari, blood orange bitters)
What You're Going to Tell That Girl Who Has Pretty Wild Hair: "Part of the Rosetta Stone was a decree from Ptolemy V declaring priests tax-exempt and represented by squiggly line, squiggly line, heron, and two dudes doing 'Walk Like an Egyptian.'"
