Time’s running out to implement this one, but we have faith that you can pull it off. Doing so is fairly simple, if "simple" is a word that means "kind of a pain in the ass".
You will need: 1) A trowel 2) A bottle of booze 3) A car (to get to Treasure Island) 4) A dog (optional)
STEP ONE: Drive the car to Treasure Island and find a spot inside the festival boundaries. Pretend you're just taking your dog on a scenic walk so that people don't pay attention when you pull a trowel and a bottle of booze out of your bag.
Note: you'll want to be able to find this spot again, so either bury it near a landmark or use "paces" to remember where it is.
STEP TWO: Bust out that trowel and get to diggin’.
STEP FOUR: Make it look like no one was ever there.
STEP FIVE: Remember where the hell it is when you get to the festival tomorrow.
2. Hide it in an electric misting fan
This one's a bit of a risk, but we took one of these fans into a 49ers game recently without incident and those security people are insane. Still -- maybe don't bring one quite as big as the one we're showing here, since it screams "I'm a crazy person who freaks out if I get even the slightest bit hot" and it might not even actually be thathot at Treasure Island.
You will need: 1) A water misting fan 2) Clear booze 3) AA batteries (in case you want to actually mist your face with booze or, you know, drink the booze and fill it with water and use the fan for reals)
STEP ONE: Fill the part where the water normally goes with vodka or gin.
STEP TWO: Screw the bottom back on and act cool, dude. Act cool.
STEP ONE: Fill up the injector with booze. The one shown holds two ounces!
STEP TWO: Insert the needle of the marinade injector into the orange, stopping as close to the center as possible, and then inject. If you want to, you can pretend you're a doctor while doing this (you want to). Repeat as wanted/needed.
STEP THREE: Store in the fridge for 24 hours (not required, but recommended).
STEP FOUR: Juggle oranges while you walk through security (NOT REALLY). Peel and enjoy.
STEP ONE: Get an empty water bottle with a white cap. Remove the entire cap (including the plastic ring).
STEP TWO: Fill that thing up all the way to the brim with vodka or gin. This is key. If it's not full, it won't look like it's never been opened.
STEP THREE: Place the magical cap on top to make it look like your water bottle is still factory sealed. Feel smug as you cruise by security and get your drink on for cheap.
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Daisy Barringer is Thrillist's SF Editor and she would never, ever condone breaking the rules to sneak booze into a music festival, but she would definitely do it for a Niners game. Follow her on Twitter @daisy.