Bad Decision Bars: You never mean to go to them, but then your friends promise that you're only gonna do one sake bomb and, sure enough, there you are at 2a, eating an egg roll you found on the floor. In San Francisco, there are exactly 14 of these places where you're pretty much guaranteed to make a bad (best?) decision or
If you leave here without vomiting... in a sink... that someone is using... you're probably doing something wrong.
Three things happen every single time you go to Bar None: 1) you're so good at beer pong you drink five pitchers, 2) you're so bad at beer pong you drink five pitchers, and 3) someone who just drank five pitchers tries to fight someone else who just drank five pitchers, usually because someone either tried to bounce, tried to blow, or tried to cut someone in line ("NO. WE HAD NEXT, BRO").
The Penthouse Club "& Restaurant"
Yeah, sure, it might seem like a good idea to go to one of these spots with your buddies, but then you get inside and find out your junior year prom date is a performer and... yeah...
Literally any karaoke bar
You know when a good time is to rent out a karaoke room with a bunch of your friends and sing absolutely awful renditions of Teenage Dream? Never. Or, after SantaCon.
Already kind of a bad decision (... because you're in SOMA), this is the kinda bar you go to, to meet some skanky-looking girls and end up... meeting some skanky-looking girls.
While definitely the kind of place where you can grind on random strangers, if you actually make out with someone here, there is now a 95% chance you have cold sores.
Are they being facetious by naming it after exactly what you won't have at this place? Also, do you smell cat pee?
"Yeah, I mean we could go to Tacolicious, but I've already had like, a pitcher-and-a-half... maybe we should just order something off the menu here?"
OH MY GOD WHAT IS GOING ON HOW AM I IN THE TENDERLOIN DID THAT GUY JUST TRY TO SELL ME BEEF JERKY?!
Normally you wouldn't expect a bar in San Francisco to enforce a dress code, but this one certainly does, and no one wants Irish Car Bombs on their dress shoes.
1. Bus Stop Saloon1901 Union St, San Francisco
2. BarNone1980 Union St, San Francisco
3. The Penthouse Club412 Broadway St, San Francisco
4. Holy Cow1535 Folsom St, San Francisco
5. The Make-Out Room3225 22nd St, San Francisco
6. Elbo Room647 Valencia St, San Francisco
7. Zeitgeist199 Valencia St, San Francisco
8. Jonell's Cocktail Lounge401 Ellis St, San Francisco
9. Reed & Greenough3251 Scott St, San Francisco
10. The Endup401 6th St, San Francisco
11. City Tavern3200 Fillmore St, San Francisco
12. KT's Fillmore3231 Fillmore St, San Francisco
13. Eastside West Restaurant & Bar3154 Fillmore St, San Francisco
Bus Stop is the best place to hit up a great viewing of the Giants dominating every single team in the MLB... or, ya know, to kick back and have a few beers & shots.
BarNone is the underground epitome of college in San Francisco. Head there and play some pong and flip cup while watching the game, getting bro-tapped, and wishing you were still living your glory days at USC.
Clothes-removing professionals do their best to wow you, while you spend way too much $$$ on drinks, and too much time searching for a way out.
SoMa mainstay Holy Cow has been a part of the SF nightclub scene since the mid-'80s. Bottle service, go-go dancers, confetti cannons, and celebrity guest DJs create one raging party on the intimate dance floor. Enjoy a breather and a cocktail between songs on the outdoor patio, or reserve one of the 20 elevated booths for a night of VIP treatment.
The music venue is above-average for acoustics, as well as cold brews and the ability to finagle through a feisty, hipster crowd.
Elbo Room's got a full list of awesome artists gracing their line up, as well as a crowded bar and zesty libations.
Zeitgeist is a fascinating combo of a dive and a biergarten that houses an eclectic blend of friendly patrons who are all there for the same reasons: to sample a bodacious variety of beer, enjoy the nice weather on the numerous outdoor picnic tables, or slug an award-winning Bloody Mary (and in many cases, all three).
Jonell's... oh, Jonell's. This shot-taking, brew-pouring, grub-dominating spot is perfect for any game, or semi-good decision making.
Housed in a stunning century old building (with even older signage), the Marina’s Reed & Greenough pays homage to the area’s history with vintage decor and timeless cocktails. Skilled bartenders turn back time with concoctions like the Bee’s Knees featuring New Amsterdam Gin, honey water, and lemon juice, and speed things back up to modern times with their blazing Pisco Brûlée.
The Endup is just one step away from being the best place to head when you're feeling boozy and dancey.
City Tavern's got get fries, wings, brews, and uh... just about anything that makes a Marina bar awesome.
Located in the Triangle, this hub is known for loud music, over-done drinks (is that a bad thing?), and an awesomely crowded bar (is that a good thing?).
Wanna get bottle service without going downtown? This is your spot. But wait, there’s more! A $25 bottomless mimosa and entree brunch you say? And shuffleboard and big ass TV’s? While Eastside West generally caters to the trendy Marina crowd, this is a classy joint where anyone can can feel comfortable letting loose and getting down on snacks like Tabasco-sauced calamari or fried truffled mac & cheese. You should also feel comfortable taking down a 120oz beer tower, because they have those, too.