The 8 Types of Drinkers You Find in Every Friend Group
Friends often come together because they have common interests. Maybe they all love the Carolina Panthers or share a passion for taxidermy. But within every friend group there is a diversity of drinkers: passionate ones, passive ones, knowledgeable ones and ones who end up face down in peanut shells. Here, the eight drinkers you’ll find in every friend group.
The Arrested Developer
He might be 38 years old, but don’t tell him Tuesdays aren’t for boat races and beer pong. The Arrested Developer still drinks the same chuggable beer and cheap vodka he did back in college because it gets the job done. For him, drinking is about the fun you have once the effects kick in.
The Arrested Developer might like to drink on school nights, but he won’t do it by himself. The Enabler is there to make sure that whatever drinking activity is planned for the evening happens. Are we doing shots? WE ARE DOING SHOTS RIGHT NOW! Need someone to share that Scorpion Bowl with you? She’s on it. On the fence about ordering that $30 pour of scotch? C’mon, you only live once.
Every group has a Charlotte. If you do not know who in your group is the Charlotte, you are the Charlotte. Like the Sex in the City cast member no one wanted to be, the Charlotte can be a bit of wet blanket and a worrier. In the context of drinking, this could mean anything from an insistence that all your drinks seem really weak and she needs to talk with the bartender about this right now, to a borderline obsession with figuring out which vodka is gluten free (IT IS ALL OF THEM, CHARLOTTE).
At some point after his foolish days of Jello Shots and Jungle Juice, the snob learned that single malt whisky existed and he never looked back. He cares deeply about the mash bill of his bourbon, will only grudgingly walk into a dive bar, and did you seriously just ask him if he wants an ice cube in his scotch? He just rolled his eyes so hard you can hear it over the Neutral Milk Hotel album he managed to find on the jukebox.
He’s going to try to order a double. Don’t let him. The Lightweight is the one who has been known to pass out at the bar, on the way home from the bar and, in extreme situations, on the way to the bar. Someone teach this guy about the low-ABV cocktail trend immediately.
The group is jealous of her capacity to drink all night and pop up the next morning ready for brunch Mimosas. Just know that you don’t have to keep up with her. Everyone has their own special skill and hers is consuming the entire back page of the Chili’s drink menu.
An important member of any group of friends, the Insider has spent her time doing deep dives into the local bar scene. She’s been everywhere, has bartender friends all over the place and knows the spots to hit before they even open. She’s the one who is going to get you into that new tiki bar with a drink menu from the guy who used to work at that modern speakeasy that looks like a preschool on the outside and got a killer review in the local alt weekly.
He’s the first to take charge whenever you meet at someone’s apartment for drinks. He may not actually work in a bar, but he’s memorized a book’s worth of classic cocktails and spends one Saturday every month making his own bitters. Unlike the Snob, he never judges you for what you like to drink, but will gently nudge you to try branching out beyond your usual Gin and Tonic. He’s good to have around, because lord knows you don’t know how to stir a Martini.