Unlike with most DC clubs, going to Heist isn't highway robbery. It's some way classier form of robbery, as the place is decked out with gold jail bars, "artifacts" from "high-class art thefts", and surveillance footage from actual bank jobs. Also: beautiful women w/ unraveled bow ties and tuxedo get-ups pouring you champagne & craft cocktails as you lounge on pin-cushion leather Chesterfield sofas
Pass the Shake Shack on Jefferson (...ok, stop in the Shake Shack on Jefferson, and just avoid getting Shack Sauce on your going-out shirt) and you'll find a charred wood overhang with bull horns for door handles. Use the password "The girls are on their way, I swear"
Downstairs, there's LED-lit Dom bottle service. And of course, the requisite diamond-filled teddy bear
The bar's lit with fiber optics, and was lit up by the guys behind the club, with guns, in West Virginia.
Cure the blues with The Bearcat, a mixture of rum, fresh blackberries, and lemon juice
Or, let The Bonnie rob you of your valuable sobriety
Lands, titles, men, and power may mean nothing, but 12yr Scotch, yellow chartreuse, and green tea certainly do when mixed together in a drink called Robert The Bruce
And finally, enjoy a highball of bourbon and honey syrup called the Gold Rush on top of a table filled with bullet casings... just like at most DC clubs.