We Played Boozy Word Association With 15 DC Bartenders
We wanted some of our favorite bartenders -- who are as full of snark as they are charm -- to tell us how they really feel. So we gave each of them a spirits-related word and asked them to spout off the first thing that came to mind. Spoiler: if you order a buttery nipple, they will make fun of you. But not until you’re out the door.
Fireball
"Greek life"
-Phil Clark, BRABO Head Bartender
"Rookie"
-Trevor Frye, Dram & Grain Co-founder & Jack Rose Beverage Director
"Still?"
-Rico Wisner, Tico Bartender
"Make it stop"
-Christine Kim, The Riggsby and Tico Lead Bartender
"How about Overholt?"
-Theo Rutherford, Mindful Restaurants Beverage Director
Tinder
"Better than TV"
-Phil Clark, Brabo Head Bartender
"I'm on Bumble. *waving hand emoji*"
-Megan Barnes, Espita Mezcaleria Beverage Director
"Yaaaas, queen"
-Allison Lane, Compass Rose Bartender
"Awkward silence"
-Parker Girard, Barrel Bar Manager
"Hug or handshake?"
-Eddie Kim, The Partisan Bartender & Bar Otsukare Co-founder
Buttery nipple
"Penis-shaped party favors"
-Megan Barnes, Espita Mezcaleria Beverage Director
"WTF. Butter beer"
-Caroline Blundell, Ripple General Manager
"Taylor Swift"
-Trevor Frye, Dram & Grain Co-founder & Jack Rose Beverage Director
"In bed only"
-Chris Hassaan Francke, The Green Zone Owner
"Two, please!"
-Nick Farrell, Iron Gate Bartender
Speakeasy
"You are licensed"
-Chris Hassaan Francke, The Green Zone Owner
"Ambivalence"
-Nick Farrell, Iron Gate Bartender
"Better be hidden"
-Will Witherow, Copperwood Tavern Bar Manager
"Is it 2006?"
-Parker Girard, Barrel Bar Manager
"Mustaches & vests"
-Caroline Blundell, Ripple General Manager
Vodka
"Easy enough"
-Will Witherow, Copperwood Tavern Bar Manager
"Still has calories..."
-Theo Rutherford, Mindful Restaurants Beverage Director
"Blank canvas"
-Trevor Frye, Dram & Grain Co-founder & Jack Rose Beverage Director
"Flavorless, odorless, useless"
-Chris Hassaan Francke, The Green Zone Owner
"Rose Kennedy"
-Allison Lane, Compass Rose Bartender
Snapping (as in, your fingers to get the bartender’s attention, not Snapchat)
"Please don’t"
-Dave Delaplaine, Roofers Union Beer Director
"For a cappella"
-Nick Farrell, Iron Gate Bartender
"Last in queue"
-Will Witherow, Copperwood Tavern Bar Manager
"Not your dog"
-Rico Wisner, Tico Bartender
Making a Murderer
-Carlie Steiner, Stir Bartending Co. Co-owner
Mojito
"Liquid air-conditioning"
-Chris Hassaan Francke, The Green Zone Owner
"With pleasure"
-Phil Clark, Brabo Head Bartender
"Gringo"
-Nick Farrell, Iron Gate Bartender
"Yes, please"
-Parker Girard, Barrel Bar Manager
"Stress reliever"
-Christine Kim, The Riggsby and Tico Lead Bartender
Mixologist
"Doesn’t equal bartender"
-Chris Hassaan Francke, The Green Zone Owner
"I’d prefer cocktologist"
-Megan Barnes, Espita Mezcaleria Beverage Director
"Pretentious"
-Trevor Frye, Dram & Grain Co-founder & Jack Rose Beverage Director
"Astrologist"
-Nick Farrell, Iron Gate Bartender
"Cooler than me"
-Theo Rutherford, Mindful Restaurants Beverage Director
Barrel-aged
"Like playing the waiting game while handcuffed to a bed"
-Christine Kim, The Riggsby and Tico Lead Bartender
"Played out"
-Phil Clark, Brabo Head Bartender
"Is that legal?"
-Theo Rutherford, Mindful Restaurants Beverage Director
"I’ve got wood"
-Eddie Kim, The Partisan Bartender & Bar Otsukare Co-founder
"Whiskey not cocktails"
-Carlie Steiner, Stir Bartending Co. Co-owner
"Surprise me"
"I like a challenge"
-Dave Delaplaine, Roofers Union Beer Director
"I’ll show off"
-Will Witherow, Copperwood Tavern Bar Manager
"Malört shots"
-Parker Girard, Barrel Bar Manager
"Bourbon it is"
-Theo Rutherford, Mindful Restaurants Beverage Director
"Favorite game"
-Carlie Steiner, Stir Bartending Co. Co-owner
Old Fashioned
"No muddled fruit!"
-Dave Delaplaine, Roofers Union Beer Director
"Tried + true"
-Megan Barnes, Espita Mezcaleria Beverage Director
"Over the pants"
-Trevor Frye, Dram & Grain Co-founder & Jack Rose Beverage Director
"Bourbon or rye?"
-Parker Girard, Barrel Bar Manager
"Modern day cosmo"
-Christine Kim, The Riggsby and Tico Lead Bartender
Craft cocktails
"Fancy ice"
-Trevor Frye, Dram & Grain Co-founder & Jack Rose Beverage Director
"Impress me"
-Dave Delaplaine, Roofers Union Beer Director
"Construction paper, safety scissors + Elmer's Glue"
-Megan Barnes, Espita Mezcaleria Beverage Director
"Constantly improving"
-Will Witherow, Copperwood Tavern Bar Manager
"Redundant"
-Parker Girard, Barrel Bar Manager and Theo Rutherford, Mindful Restaurants Beverage Director
Last Call
"In everyone’s best interest"
-Dave Delaplaine, Roofers Union Beer Director
"Ehhh, that’s flexible"
-Chris Hassaan Francke, The Green Zone Owner
"Finish line"
-Nick Farrell, Iron Gate Bartender
"Just got here"
-Rico Wisner, Tico Bartender
"Shots!"
-Caroline Blundell, Ripple General Manager
Hand-crafted
"The ice too?"
-Chris Hassaan Francke, The Green Zone Owner
"No shit"
-Phil Clark, Brabo Head Bartender
"It better be"
-Will Witherow, Copperwood Tavern Bar Manager
"Foot-crafted"
-Rico Wisner, Tico Bartender
"Up-charge$$$"
-Christine Kim, The Riggsby and Tico Lead Bartender
Red Bull
"Cough syrup"
-Trevor Frye, Dram & Grain Co-founder & Jack Rose Beverage Director
"Heart attack"
-Dave Delaplaine, Roofers Union Beer Director
"Lemme see ID"
-Chris Hassaan Francke, The Green Zone Owner
"Casino floor only"
-Phil Clark, Brabo Head Bartender
"Diarrhea"
-Allison Lane, Compass Rose Bartender
Mezcal
"Mmm, Mexican smoke"
-Chris Hassaan Francke, The Green Zone Owner
"Nectar of the gods"
-Megan Barnes, Espita Mezcaleria Beverage Director
"Heaven"
-Will Witherow, Copperwood Tavern Bar Manager
"Next big thing"
-Theo Rutherford, Mindful Restaurants Beverage Director
"Forget the worm"
-Eddie Kim, The Partisan Bartender & Bar Otsukare Co-founder
New Year's Eve
"Rent. Paid. Holla."
-Allison Lane, Compass Rose Bartender
"Precedes Dryuary (Boo!)"
-Chris Hassaan Francke, The Green Zone Owner
"No. Celebrate always."
-Nick Farrell, Iron Gate Bartender
"Bubbles are delicious"
-Theo Rutherford, Mindful Restaurants Beverage Director
"Amateur hour"
-Will Witherow, Copperwood Tavern Bar Manager, Rico Wisner, Tico Bartender, and Christine Kim, The Riggsby and Tico Lead Bartender
Beertails
"Under-appreciated"
-Trevor Frye, Dram & Grain Co-founder & Jack Rose Beverage Director
"New Saturday morning cartoon?"
-Megan Barnes, Espita Mezcaleria Beverage Director
"Campari/IPA, yum"
-Nick Farrell, Iron Gate Bartender
"Should not happen"
-Carlie Steiner, Stir Bartending Co. Co-owner
"Yes, please"
-Dave Delaplaine, Roofers Union Beer Director
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Laura Hayes is a DC-based food, drink & travel writer who also contributes to Washington City Paper, Food Network, Arlington Magazine, and others. She’s on a quest to a place that serves donut holes but hates that DD still calls them Munchkins. Follow her on Twitter @BTMenu.