Duck Duck Wally

LA's littered with archetypal characters whose lives are so beautifully crazy, you're terrified of meeting them in person. So, read about them: Duck Duck Wally, out today

DDW was written by freshman novelist Gabe Rotter, himself a stereotype (NYC transplant, writer, exec-assistant, guy-who-likes-sushi...). It's a simple story of a man and his dog -- mixed in with some weed smoking, kidnapping, and heart-of-gold rappers. The key players:

The Schlubby Music Industry Guy: Wally Moscowitz, the lonely, 30-something ex-East Coaster who can't commit to anything other than his dog and his own listless fatness

The Gorgeous, Possibly Herpetic Barfly: Jem, the lusty, beautiful vixen semi-famous enough to where people recognize her work as "that girl...on TV?

The Agent: Shiftless, smarmy, self-important, obese, lives in the Valley -- obviously, this is a purely fictional character.

The Rapper: Oral B, the loud, blinged-out thug who's made millions off of other people's talents, and used them to buy a hummer limo, support an entourage, and ostensibly develop a line of dental care products.

The Jewish Doctor: Dr. Barry Schwartzmann. Actually, a bulldog.

Despite the characters' outrageousness, you'll find they share many of your everyday problems, like deciding if toking while driving's worth the incarceration, or whether Urinal Game Theory dictates you pee in the porcelain closest to the wall. Finding the answers'll mean you've bucked another prominent LA stereotype, by actually reading a book.