Department store shopping is a brutal exercise in unwanted choice -- so many designers to choose from, so little giving a crap about any of them. To pare down your options, hit Den.
Started up by Odin (and next door to their E. Village store), this tiny shop will carry a single designer at a time -- like a gallery exhibit, except you eventually get to stain the paintings with back-sweat. A sweet taste of future brands:
Cheap Monday: If you can't trust a Swedish label run by a man named Orjan to outfit you with everything from jeans to shoes, you've got serious trust issues, and will never have a successful relationship.
Tim Hamilton: Updated American prep gear, balancing the seductiveness of rebellion with the certainty of future earnings.
Rag & Bone: Inspired by "classic work-wear", yet somehow a perfect complement to your classic aversion to labor.
Den's plan is to switch out designers every 6-8 weeks. If two months isn't long enough for you to narrow down your limited options and select a pair of pants, you don't need any clothes at all, because it's not safe for you to ever leave your apartment.