Lucha VaVOOM

There are certain things that Mexico knows how to take to the next level, like chicken with its two-day-simmered mole, and Spring Break with its two-day-simmered priapism. For Mexico's amped-up take on professional wrestling: Lucha VaVOOM

Coming to NYC for one crazy night of "brawn, beauty, and bizarre", LA-based Luch's a traveling, 2-hour extravaganza featuring our neighbor to the south's burlesque-spiked lucha libre wrestling: wild costumes, aerial stunts, men grappling with their legs, and women grappling with their boobs. Eye-exploding, top-turnbuckle antics come courtesy of luchadors like the glitter faced/moose-knuckled, cross-dressing Cassandro, who calls himself the "Queen of the Ring"; the comb-n-beak masked Los Crazy Chickens; the psychadelic pink-spandex wearing Alebrije and his mini clone Cuije, rocking outfits that get even trippier thanks to a "blacklight match"; the balcony-body-slammin', yellow-booty-short-wearin' Mini Chicken; and the famed Dirty Sanchez, who should probably be practicing fade routes with Chansi Stuckey. Meanwhile, va va voom's provided by inter-bout burlesque from L.A. showstoppers Ursulina and "Queen of the tassel twirl" Lucy Fur, a hula-hoop hottie named Karis, Miss Exotic World 2006 Julie Atlas Muz, and an aerial striptease from NYC trapeze twins the Wau Wau sisters, whose erotic athletics are accompanied by a soundtrack of bow-chika-bow-wau-waus.

Because your ears need entertainment too, there's music from DJ Das Booty and his Electric Cowbell, plus MST3k-style running commentary from comedian Blaine Capatch, formerly the host of TV's Beat the Geeks, though if that two-day medical ordeal taught you anything it's that no amount of beating will ever keep them down.