Best Late-Night Eats: Lucky J's wins my nod as best late-night jam for their Ms. M Taco. At 2a, nothing's better than a waffle wrapped around fried chicken, bacon, and Swiss.
Best Cheap Eats: Back in college I would down samosas from Ken's Doughnuts by the half dozen. Although the price has raised $.50 since then, I still stop by for some of the best sleeper Indian food in town and wash it down with an eclair.
Best Food Truck: There's still no topping East Side King -- Top Chef contestant Paul Qui's star has risen since the original Liberty trailer opened, but the beet fries and pork buns still stand as some of his most delicious creations, and the quail at the Grackle trailer is next-level.
Best Sandwich: Home Slice's Italian Sub is so good it convinced me to move into a house with the manager of the restaurant.
Best Dish: Franklin Barbecue's brisket. There's nothing else in town I'd wait 2+ hours for. You won't find moister, more flavorful meat anywhere in the world.
Best Italian: Enoteca makes for a perfect lunch, and in true Italian fashion, you'll want to take a nap afterwards.
Best Breakfast Taco: Mi Madre's wins for their chorizo, Tamale House is unbeatable in terms of price, and I have a soft spot for Taco-Mex as the little taco window that could. Still, there's nothing that hits the spot quite like the buttery housemade tortillas from the newcomers at the Taco Joint.
Best Burger: If you're looking for a new-school, grass-fed patty, wait in line at Hopdoddy. But for a grill that's built up a few more years of grease, pull up a seat at the bar of Hut's, a true Austin institution that's been around since 1939.
Best Chinese: There's an awesome, super-authentic spot up North called A+A Sichuan Garden. They came up with the name because they claim it's the best plus the best, and I can't disagree.
Most Romantic: Chez Nous is classic: great French food, totally unpretentious atmosphere, and the type of old Austin charm you just don't find in newer spots.
Best Fine Dining: You won't find a better dining experience than a night at Uchi or Uchiko. Your waiter feels like an old best friend by mid-meal.
Most Gut-busting Dish: Without a doubt, it's The James Brown burger from Your Mom's. The half-pound cheddar-stuffed patty alone would be enough to slay most appetites, but the pulled pork on top takes it to a new level of gluttony.
Best for Partying: You can't beat the ambiance at Justine's. It's got this otherworldly vintage vibe, like the type of swinging French restaurant Keith Richards would've stumbled into during the Exile on Main St sessions.
Weirdest Food: Lard Have Mercy's carnivalesque creations are the stuff of dreams. Ever wondered what deep-fried mac 'n cheese tastes like? Wonder no more.
Best for Work: Although bonding over greasy butcher paper is the TX way, most down-and-dirty 'Q spots close after lunch, so opt for a work dinner at upscale smokehouse Lamberts.
Most Local Food: Trace at the W has an on-staff forager. Although that doesn't really mean they're digging through the greenbelt for berries, they're still able to tell you more about the sources of their ingredients than that waiter on Portlandia.
Best Lunch: The tonkotsu ramen at Kome. Slurp the broth for dessert.
Best Brunch: Contigo's a no-brainer for brunch. The all-outdoor concept is perfect for a Sunday afternoon. If you're sharing plates (which you should), be sure to ask for two orders of the beef tongue hash.
Best Donuts: Either savory or sweet, Gourdough's is unparalleled. If you're feeling bold, try the guac-/bacon-topped Ron Burgundy donut burger. Stay classy Austin.