The Weekend Playbook: Pork, jorts, and goat championships

Freebie(s!) of the WeekFreebie one: In the most natural pairing since Doritos and Taco Bell, tonight Russian House hosts Vodka Fest! There will be 15 different brands there, as well as RH's signature 100+ infusions. Tweet at us with the name of the cheapest, most disgusting brand of vodka you ever drank in college to be entered to win a pair of tickets

Freebie two: New ATX iPad publication Citygram is hosting a chef throwdown tonight with the founder of Beetnik Foods squaring off against one of the Barley Swine honchos. It'll be judged by esteemed members of the food media, including the editor of your favorite men's lifestyle site that rhymes with Aquarellist (it's a word! Look it up!). Tweet at us with a way better word that rhymes with Thrillist to win a pair of tickets

Thursday, August 29thGoose Island Beer Co and Do512 are hosting a rooftop pool party at the posh Whitley high-rise with beer, burgers, and Black Joe Lewis. That beer is not going to drink itself. Probably

Friday, August 30thNaked Girls Reading! Beautiful burlesque babes will intrigue you with their tales of sex, scandal, and the femme fatales of classic noir at Salvage Vanguard Theater. This will be slightly better than an audio book.Slightly

The founders/college-kid magnets of UMeTime are throwing a totally legit pig roast at West Campus upscale BBQ joint, Freedmen's. And there're going to be FREE pulled pork sliders

Saturday, August 31stIt's time for Misprint's self-proclaimed "dumb Summer party", The 5th Annual Summer Jortacular at Shangri-La. Expect beer, (some) free food, a jort-dunking booth, and "inflatable crap from China", which hopefully includes a giant dolphin you can ride majestically

What's better than one David Bowie tribute band? Actual David Bowie Two David Bowie tribute bands! Rock 'n Roll Suicide -- a David Bowie tribute featuring Super Creeps and The Purple Bee All-Stars -- is going to set Antone's on fire with hairspray, glitter, and Bowie-inspired awesomeness. Lighting bolt face-painting included in ticket price

If you consider yourself a next-level carnivore, you're going to love the World Championship BBQ Goat Cook-Off. Come to Brady, Texas for the horseshoe-throwing, the friendly folks, and the expertly smoked goat -- stay for the "Mystery Meat Judging"

Downtown sushi joint Imperia is rolling out a new menu as well as christening their Bambu Nightclub with a grand opening party. There will be... drink specials

Sunday, September 1stBlack Joe Lewis is playing an in-store performance at Waterloo Records, where you can get the new album, Electric Slave. Music store employee judgement free with purchase

Alamo Drafthouse presents The World's End Pub Crawl, with stops at three (not twelve, because that's like, deadly) beer joints (Ginger Man, Easy Tiger, and Chicago House), with a final stop at the Alamo Drafthouse Ritz for the movie screening

Monday, September 2ndThe Salty Sow and Roaring Fork will both be offering buy-one-get-one-free entrees for your holiday satiation.